The Journey of Total Strangers becoming Friends like Family

The year is 2015 in the blazing heat and humidity of Karachi summers. A ‘seasoned HR professional’, who appears a little overwhelming when you first meet him, managing a pretty large headcount with literally a handful of young teammates, is all set to welcome his new boss. The poor guy is relieved to finally have someone to set things in motion. The ‘someone’ is larger than life but a very humble personality, an easy-going, always dressed to the nines, a veteran turned HR guru. Together this small team starts to grow, to eventually become one of the best teams you could ever hope to be a part of. This duo starts with getting on board a meji baby look alike (not my words) sweet guy who always does his best to appear mean (though, rather unsuccessfully). The ‘trying hard to be curt’ guy along with the most resourceful lady you can ever dream to know and the epitome of courteousness, ‘Miss Courtesy’ then goes on to get on board, ‘the immaculately dressed best human being ever’, ‘the calmest looking man of steel’, ‘the ever soft-spoken, ‘the theoretician’, ‘miss epicure’ and ‘the iron lady’. The newbies are then paired with the bunch of oldies; ‘the poet’, ‘the delicate’ and ‘the philosopher’ to get the ball rolling. Later ‘the pristine messy’ and ‘the kindness central’ joined this pack.

Fast forward 5 months, we are now in what passes as winters in Karachi. The calmest man of steel gets in his head to get an HR maiden, i.e., yours truly, into his team, what was he even thinking? The HR maiden, though not very excited initially, warms up to the idea in time, grabbing the opportunity with both hands and goes on to meet this gourmet team. What started off as a pretty shaky beginning with the gourmets not knowing what to do with the HR maiden and vice versa, quickly developed into bonds and memories for life. With this team of amazing humans, I learnt that differences actually bring us together if we get off our high horses for a minute, contrast is beautiful and every single moment, you take a breath is an opportunity to learn both what to do and what not to. I learnt that it is okay to disagree with any thought process or opinion as long as you don’t attack the person in the disagreement and that when the clock strikes five, you go back to being mates from people who had been at each other’s’ throats just a couple of hours ago in a meeting. With this wonderful bunch of humans, I realized how easy it is to casually compliment a person on how they are dressed or their new hairdo or the watch on their wrist; and in the next hour setting them straight for a job not well-done with the same ease without being off-putting or walking on eggshells.

From ‘someone’ I learnt that you should never give up but know when to step back with grace and your head held high. Mr ‘seasoned HR Professional’ taught me to always be ready to listen to and learn from everyone. The ‘trying hard to be curt ’ guy taught me to always speak my mind no matter what and from the ‘immaculately dressed best human being ever’ I learnt to always treat adversaries with kindness as nothing is more lethal. ‘Pristine Messy’ taught me that to pack a strong punch you never have to compromise on being a lady. The ‘poet’ and the ‘delicate’ taught me to always be open to change, remain curious and never give up questioning myself. From the ‘theoretician’ and the ‘philosopher’, I learnt that speculation when stems out of learning is a good thing. The ‘kindness central’ just never loses his cool, I haven’t been able to learn that yet. ‘Miss Courtesy’ is at another level altogether, from her I learnt that final blow is fatal when delivered gently doused in courtesy and that truth is always better over a white lie. From the calmest looking man of steel, I learnt that family is not just blood, your honesty and kindness never lead you astray, what you have today is what you have unknowingly been striving for, saying no is absolutely okay and essential at times, if your heart isn’t in it then there is something wrong with it and that you are enough in just who you are. It is literally not easy to squeeze this down just to a few sentences because for me these are life lessons but if I don’t stop the flow of words now, it will not stop anytime soon.

In my 3 years working closely with this bunch of awesomeness, I changed as an individual, I became a much better version of myself, a version that I grew fond of and will grow from. I have been trying to write this blog for a long time but it had to come together today which is coincidentally the International Friendship Day. I want to thank these beautiful people for being a part of my life and to ‘someone’ who gave us each other, you all know who you are and this is dedicated to each one of you. Dirk Wittenborn in Fierce People rightly states, “We are the sum of all people we have ever met; you change the tribe and the tribe changes you.” And I couldn’t agree more with Dirk here.

Tooba Tanveer